There’s nothing wrong with some healthy competition. Or is there? Lately, I have noticed that my son has started to become a little competitive. We play a lot of board games in our household, and aside from being a sore loser, he seems to be pretty adamant on winning. I never let him win. He needs to understand that losing is part of life. Also, I don’t want to lose, because I deserve that win haha. He isn’t overly competitive, and I think it’s actually a good thing to be motivated and driven. I am fairly certain that his behaviour is in-line with what is considered appropriate and normal for his age. But how do you keep that competitive nature in check?
Growing up, I was taught to be competitive. Culturally, being the “top of your class” was the goal. Anything less was just not acceptable. Now I wasn’t the smartest kid in my class, but I wonder if that mentality has shaped who I am today. Does becoming obsessed with being the best make it difficult to deal with failures? I work with a team of pharmacists that vary in level of experience and expertise, but we are all the same position. I find it hard to think that I am less than any of my colleagues and have to work really hard to celebrate the successes of others and not wallow in my failures. I wouldn’t call it jealousy, but I blame my attitude on my competitive nature.
In light of the pandemic, measures have been taken at my workplace to split up the pharmacists into two teams. This has been the process for a few months now but for some reason creating two teams had fostered competition. Who was the better team?? As you can imagine, this didn’t lead to a very pleasant work environment as some people became very competitive while others were offended and became defensive. Unfortunately, there were some outspoken and obnoxious pharmacists and it led me to wonder if their childhood and upbringing moulded who they are. Naturally, I realized I needed to strike a balance in my kids. I want my kids to be better balanced than me when it comes to relating themselves to others. I don’t want them to compare their lives to those of their peers. I also want them to strive to be better versions of themselves while simultaneously being sensitive to those around them. I do not want to raise obnoxious children.
I have been actively acknowledging the change in my son’s behavior and new-found competitive nature. I praise him for winning and remind him that it’s ok to lose. I tell him that you need to work to be improving yourself not necessarily beating those around you. BUT you can also work to be better than those around you as long as it’s not the only thing that determines your value. I am not sure if I am going about this the right way and if this is the way any other mother would deal with this situation.
I guess it would be wrong of me to think I can do it better than anyone else, right?