I am at that stage in my life when everyone just either had a baby, wants a baby or has decided they don’t like babies. I, myself, can feel all three of these things simultaneously; i.e. when you are feeding your 6-month-old at 3 am and they have just fallen asleep in your arms and look precious. Anyways… So I’m surrounded by pregnancy recently. Pregnant bellies that are smaller than mine were. Pregnancies both smoother and rougher than mine. It’s amazing to see how every woman handles pregnancy and experiences it differently. I am no expert. But as a pharmacist and a seasoned pregnant person (I only have 2 kids and one on the way but still…), fellow newly pregnant women look towards me for advice, answers and, my favorite, affirmation that they aren’t messing up their fetuses. Here are some of the interesting questions I have been asked and comments I have heard. I hope you find these funny…I may even be able to provide some legit info through all this.

  1. “What can I eat?” – I love this question. SO broad……… I usually ask them if they have any specific concerns, and then I ask what their doctor has said to avoid. The usual suspects – too much fish, caffeine, certain cheeses – are usually the foods to stay away from. Often this leads to a follow up question – what’s too much??

  2. “I’m so hungry all the time.” - Ok. So I never really felt hungry. I spent a lot of time nauseated, and then I had heartburn. I also had good ol’ gestational diabetes, so my sugars would drop, and I would have to eat right away. Was I the best eater? Probably not. But what kind of makes me chuckle is the 7 week pregnant woman that insists she is starving now (she just found out she was pregnant yesterday). Coincidentally, this same woman was also nauseous and started showing at 7 weeks…. Placebo effect much?

  3. “I am so much bigger than you!” - So what? It doesn’t matter. You are just stressing me and yourself out. We all have different sized babies, and our bodies carry each child so uniquely. Some look like they ate a watermelon and nothing else about them even looks remotely pregnant, while others swell up into a ball. I am the ball. It’s always fun to see the transformation of the Princess into a Puffy Pregnant Person.

  4. “I am eating for two now!” – NO!!! Do not eat for two. Big mistake. Eat normally. I remember very clearly in my first pregnancy, when a group of us girls were out for dinner on a weekday. Yes, we could do things like this when we were young without kids. My friend and I were pregnant at the same time, and she was due a month before me. Much to my chagrin, the other girls had already compared our bellies and drilled us with questions about how the pregnancy was going. When our entrees came, my fellow preggo said, “Eating for two!” I informed her that “eating for two” is a myth and you should just continue to eat normally. Till this day my friends make fun of her for eating so much. So cruel.

  5. “I don’t want to wear heels anymore” – Again, this is understandable if you are very pregnant but 8 weeks??? I was 10 weeks pregnant and went to a wedding in heels and danced on the dance floor. I saw a bare foot preggo who was going to pop next month and she was jumping on the dance floor…. I suppose we all have different levels of tolerance and varying levels of swollen feet.

  6. “I am going to start eating healthy now” – Admirable. But shouldn’t you have always been eating healthy???

  7. “I don’t want to work out while being pregnant” – I worked out until I was so nauseous that all I wanted to do was sleep all day. But I still tried to stay as active as possible and took regular walks. Again, do as much as you can but working out within reason isn’t harmful to you or the baby, as long as you don’t start training for a marathon or something.

My most favourite statement of them all… “I have a birth plan” – Oh, honey.