Now that the mental preparation has started, and products and tools have been collected, it’s time to look at the different potty-training techniques and to decide which ones may work for your child.
If you Google potty training techniques, you will be hit with a plethora of ideas. I don’t recall which resources I used for my older son, but when doing the research this time round, I did remember reading about some of the methods years ago. By all means, Google and do your research to see what’s out there, and pay attention to the reviews on them as well. Some good books that you might want to take a look at are:
Here’s my summary on the techniques I found and my take on them based on my experience:
Step-by-Step: Child-Oriented Potty Training
What it is:
This method seems to be most appropriate for children who show signs of readiness (see my previous post). It’s a slower and more relaxed approach in which the child determines the pace at which they progress. It’s a step by step process that involves your child slowly getting comfortable with the idea of the using the toilet. First, you want to have your child help pick out the potty. The second step is having your child sit on said potty, but fully clothed. The next step is emptying the soiled diaper into potty and establishing routines like washing hands. And so on. It is suggested to let your child run around bare bottomed or with minimal clothing and a potty close by in the hopes that they will use the toilet themselves. Based on this concept, your child is going to make the connection and one day will spontaneously use the potty! This technique is based on Brazelton’s approach highlighted in his book. In fact, it is the method currently endorsed by the American Pediatric Society and the Canadian Pediatric Society.
My experience:
I tried this method first before any others with my older son. He was showing some signs of readiness, such as being uncomfortable in a dirty diaper and announcing that he was going to poo. I thought if I could take a less aggressive approach like this one then why not give it a go. We didn’t get past sitting on the potty fully clothed. He didn’t like sitting on the potty. I tried a few times and eventually decided that a child sitting on the potty screaming and in tears wasn’t the way I wanted to potty train. I mean, this was SUPPOSED to be the gentler approach…. But alas, each kid is unique, and this was just not the way my child was going to learn.
I didn’t try it with my second born as he never showed the typical signs of readiness. He was completely content walking around in a soiled diaper. Again, to each their own.
The Express Train: Fast Tracked Methods
What it is:
There are various “fast track” methods out there. These techniques promise results in as fast as 1-3 days. These expedited potty-training techniques were first introduced in 1974 in the book “Toilet Training In Less Than One Day.” Seeing as this book is quite old, there are newer updated approaches that are based on the similar concept. Generally, these strategies are implemented in children aged 20 months or older. All of these speedy methods highlight the same basic tenets. Parents need to keep a very, very close eye on their children in an uninterrupted period of time – like a weekend. Let the child roam about naked/bare bottomed or in underwear and then put the child on the potty regularly (i.e. every 15-20 minutes).
Some other suggestions that I came across that might help to fast track potty training were:
- The child needs to be incredibly well hydrated so that they will have to pee frequently.
- Pretend play with a doll to show how to urinate is encouraged as part of the preparation so that children can understand what is actually going to be happening
- Keep a potty nearby to catch all opportunities
- Rewards, praise and positive reinforcement are imperative
My experience:
I honestly could not bring myself to have naked bums sitting all over my furniture and carpets. So, I tried a personalized version of it by having my older son roam in underwear and a t-shirt. We got cute little character underwear like these:
I put him on the toilet at regular intervals and didn’t get him to pee even once UNTIL he accidentally peed himself. He was so utterly distraught by the pee running down his leg that he let it happen only one more time, and then he made sure he used the toilet when I put it on him the times after that. So, it kind of worked. Of course, I had to work to reinforce the idea for weeks after that and had to keep taking him to the washroom at regular intervals (not as frequently as 15-20 minutes). I slowly increased the interval by 15 minutes until we were eventually using the toilet successfully every 2 hours. We still used pull-ups for naps and nighttime of course, and to be honest, used pull-ups if we knew we might be in a place that washrooms might not be easily accessible.
With my younger son, on our second run of potty training, I tried the underwear and he wouldn’t even notice that he had peed himself. We tried frequent bathroom trips and he would just either pee right before or right after. There were many #momfail moments. So we gave up, and decided to re-assess again in a few months.
Live and Learn: Let the kid learn by themselves
What it is:
With this technique, the child basically teaches himself. They decide when they are ready and start getting trained or using the potty once they have expressed interest.
This is a slightly more hands-off approach and might work well for a stubborn child. That being said, the concern is what if they don’t get there and that same stubborn child who may benefit from this method is also the one who refuses to stop wearing diapers.
My experience:
I am not a patient person when it comes to teaching. So, I just couldn’t wait for my kids to teach themselves. However, with my second born, I wasn’t given much of a choice when I was unsuccessful with potty training twice. I did have to sort of wait for him to express more interest and be ready to start the process. He is almost three and we are almost there, but this is much later than I had hoped for. He is a little more stubborn than his sibling and didn’t want to stop wearing diapers. We had to take a somewhat more unconventional approach by using pull-ups instead of underwear when we started training so that he could still feel like he was wearing a diaper and we could feel like he was wearing underwear. It’s funny the mind games that must be played to convince ourselves that we are succeeding.
These are the pull-ups we tried:
These pull-ups get cool upon wetting so the child can start to make the connection between action (peeing) and consequence (wet underwear/diaper). They can also help the child realize how much more comfortable it is not to have a wet diaper/pullup.
These other pull-ups that have the disappearing design can also be helpful for children who need to have a goal to work towards “i.e. don’t let that picture disappear.”
However, please note that we have been able to graduate to underwear since and continuing potty training.
Mix it up & Stir the Pot(ty): Combination of Methods
What it is:
You can also combine various methods to come up with a technique that is tailored to your situation and child. This is often referred to as “gradual parent-led” potty training. I like to call it the “try a whole bunch of things and hope something sticks” method. This strategy takes a page from each of the child oriented potty training, fast tracked training and letting the kids learn themselves strategies. The technique still lets the child feel like he/she is in charge, but the parent is actually guiding a lot of the process.
It is still suggested that you let your child get comfortable with the potty by sitting fully clothed on it and generally being around it a lot, so it doesn’t seem so foreign to them. Once they don’t freak out at the sight of the potty, you can start the actual training process. This would be similar to the fast techniques in which you keep them in just a diaper (or dare I say, bare bottomed) and watch them like a hawk to see the signs that they need to use the toilet, and/or making frequent trips to the toilet every 15 minutes or so.
My experience:
This is what seems to be working for my son now. I needed to custom tailor a technique that fit his personality, our patience level and our lifestyle. I found potty training a second child was more difficult than the first as I had to take care of two children and was unable to solely focus my attention on the kid who needed it. So, we did what we had to do and tried a bunch of different things.
Some takeaways and reminders:
- Rewards like treats and stickers are helpful with all these methods.
- Praise is ALWAYS good.
- #parentingfails are your worst enemy… You haven’t failed if your kid isn’t potty trained. If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again.
- As with any transition, make the change more attractive. Cool underwear is more fun than diapers.
- Try to make potty training fun… Throw a Cheerio in the toilet and have them aim their pee at it; BUT I strongly suggest training a boy to sit down and use the toilet first. Helps with poo training.
- Don’t compare siblings between each other… Each kid is unique.
- Don’t judge other parents who are doing things differently than you.
- Don’t compare yourself to other parents. You are bound to be disappointed this way.
- Do not get angry or impatient with accidents. They are going to happen now AND for many years. You need to get over it and use it to help with the teaching.
- You know your child best. You know yourself best. Trust both your limits.
I hope you find a technique that is helpful with your potty-training struggles. These methods are typically useful for daytime dryness and toilet training.
Look out for Part III, when I discuss nighttime training, pull-ups and how to keep working at the foundation that you have built with these techniques.
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