There are many old wives’ tales on how to get pregnant, and how to do so efficiently; however, I believe that there is no hard and fast rule. We all have individual experiences. Some of us become parents by accident, while some of us are in the “trying to conceive” stage for a long time, and some of us just have easy “normal” conceptions, whatever that means.
Before I got pregnant with my first baby, I had a lot of misconceptions (pun intended) about conceiving. Here’s a little bit of my experience, and also some “aha” moments.
One thing I didn’t realize is that it can take some time to get pregnant.
I was taking birth control prior to us trying to get pregnant, and I just assumed it would be “stop the pill, next month get pregnant.” Well, my body had other plans. For the first month, I didn’t have a period, and assumed that I must be pregnant. But the test came out negative.
This happened for four months, no period, but also no pregnancy. It was very disheartening. I had booked an appointment with my family physician to figure out why my period had decided to become persona non grata all of a sudden but decided to do one last pregnancy test… And lo! It was positive!
Apparently, you can have no period (for months) and also not be pregnant. Who knew? It can also take up to a year to get pregnant, and if it’s taking this long, it’s not considered to be problematic as per doctors. Just keep trying.
There’s no magical method to knowing your cycle; at least, there wasn’t for me.
Trying to determine when your body is most likely to become pregnant was very difficult for me to figure out. Some women have painful ovulation, changes in basal body temperature, and other signs that could mark the release of that egg. I, for the life of me, couldn’t figure it out. Ovulation typically occurs on days 10-18 of a 28-day cycle. Day 1 is the first day of your period. But I couldn’t figure out if I had a 28-day cycle, or longer. Did you know women can have 35-day long cycles? So, we just did our best to try to conceive every other day, starting on the 8th day of my cycle. Sperm can live for almost 5 days, while an egg can live for about 24 hours.
It worked eventually, of course, seeing as I now have three kids. That being said, if you are trying to conceive for a while, and there are no other issues that might be a factor, figuring out the ins and outs of your cycle might be a game changer.
Contrary to popular belief, there is also no known sex position that will facilitate the sperm and egg to have a more “engaged” meeting (lol), so just do what’s comfortable for yourself.
There are quite a few different pregnancy tests out there. Did you know you can get a false positive?? With my second pregnancy, I had a positive pregnancy test, followed by bleeding as heavy as a period about 5 days later. I thought I was having a miscarriage but was still holding on to a sliver of hope that the bleeding was just a one-off. It continued for days, and I even had an ultrasound that showed a completely empty uterus. But the odd thing was that my blood work showed ZERO hCG, which is a hormone that indicates pregnancy. Normally, even if you have a miscarriage, the level of hCG can take some time to go back down, but the fact that it was zero for me implied that I may never have been pregnant at all. Now I know that if a test is left sitting for too long, you could get a false positive, but I was very careful in this regard. To this day, I have no idea what could have happened. I have filed it away into the part of my brain where I keep things that don’t make any sense to me. Next time around, when I was ACTUALLY pregnant, I did two tests a week apart to make doubly sure that I was with child, for reals.
What I did know, and was affirmed with each pregnancy:
You should always take a prenatal multivitamin such as Nestlé’s Materna (purchase on Amazon Canada or US). Prenatal vitamins have an appropriate amount of folic acid (0.4 -1.0mg) that can help prevent neural tube defects. These defects happen very early on in a pregnancy, around 3-4 weeks after conception, so they could be before you even know that you are pregnant. Therefore, it’s important to start taking your multivitamin before trying to conceive. In fact, it is recommended by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada that a supplement containing folic acid be taken about 12 weeks prior to conception.
Generally, it’s good to stay healthy and be at a good weight before trying to conceive. Your fetus needs a solid home, so make sure to cut down on bad habits and diets that could affect it.
You can also always talk to your doctor about trying to conceive, to help sort through any questions or anxieties you may have. As important as it is to have a supportive network of moms or possible fellow preggers, sometimes looking at other moms to understand what works can be misleading, as all moms are different. What worked for one pregnancy might not work for another. Through my three pregnancies, each process to become pregnant was different; imagine how different another woman’s experience might be!
Lastly, relax! Trying to make a baby can be stressful, but being tense about it is only going to make matters worse. So just Netflix and chill……
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